


Misdirection

by Kantrips



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, One Shot, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 15:12:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13437477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kantrips/pseuds/Kantrips
Summary: A slightly bewildered Cullen happens upon the Inquisitor performing some ‘magic tricks’ for children at Skyhold and doesn’t quite know what to make of the whole spectacle.





	Misdirection

Cullen had tried to be a good person. He had tried to be patient and had made an absolutely courageous effort to ignore it. He _had_ ignored it for what felt like hours. But this was finally it: he was drawing a firm line in the sand.

The children would have to be dispersed: their insufferable shrieking and laughter was carrying right through his window and he had work that was time sensitive. Surely even the Maker would agree that he had tolerated them long enough already. They could take their rampant, irritating joy elsewhere, or find something more constructive to do. So long as it was quiet.

Now that he had bolstered himself and stoked his own outrage sufficiently to confront the pack of undoubtedly delinquent children, he set out, face stern, gait determined.

Nearing the bottom of the stairs, a familiar voice suddenly rose above the chorus of chatter. He faltered on the last step, determination melting away, expression slipping into one of embarrassed bemusement that only one person was capable of inspiring in him. Arms folded, leaning against the wall, he watched the group of more than fifteen children, clustered in a semi-circle, intrigued as Evelyn dictated to them.

Managing to look as dignified sitting cross legged on the grass as she did on the throne in the main hall, Evelyn was shaking her head emphatically. A negotiation appeared to be taking place as her audience egged her on.

“No, no I couldn’t possibly. What a terrible suggestion Peter. _Terrible_.” The children responded with further encouragement, jibes and pleading in equal measure. Cullen’s curiosity was well and truly piqued. He couldn’t quite tell if her distress was genuine or not. Hovering unnoticed, irritation long forgotten, he watched on to see if he could be of assistance. Besides, he was a little intrigued. Evelyn sighed, evidently relenting, hands lowering in defeat. “Okay then, if you really, really want me to set that hay cart on fire _I will_.”

Cullen straightened abruptly and took an involuntary step forward. Evelyn’s eyes jerked upwards in response to the movement, finally spotting him. In the briefest of gestures, she gave him a small, conspiratorial smile and the slightest shake of her head. Alarmed but ultimately trusting her, Cullen halted, even as every instinct protested, some old, unconscious reflex reacting to the possibility of a destructive and dangerous use of magic. But she wouldn’t…would she?

Evelyn rolled her shoulders a few times and cricked her neck from side to side as if in preparation. Cullen could almost hear the collective intake of breath from the children as they looked in eager anticipation towards the soon to be incinerated cart. Shoulders tense, he watched Evelyn instead, wondering what she was up to. Evelyn outstretched her hands towards it and waggled her fingers in a manner completely unfamiliar to Cullen. He had seen a lot of casting methods in his time and this was…not one of them.

“Magic, magic upon this hay cart! May a fiery inferno start!” Evelyn chanted. Cullen felt like an idiot: she was play acting. As if reading his mind, Evelyn looked towards him, struggling to fight back a laugh when she saw his face. Cullen tried to imagine his expression: self-deprecating annoyance for having thought she was serious for even a moment. He smiled and threw in an eyeroll. Evelyn snorted which drew the attention of the children back to her.

“Nuffing ‘appened miss!” a young boy helpfully informed her.

“What?” Evelyn said with a gasp. She wriggled her fingers more vigorously.

“Your magic is broken it is!”

“No! It isn’t possible!” Evelyn drew her hands up close to her face to examine them, flipping them over to look at the back and front with desperation. “I think…I think my magic _is_ broken.” She let out an exaggerated sniff and covering her face with one hand, threw out the other in despair. The children began to scream with excitement when on the fingertips of her outstretched hand, a bright blue flame appeared. A harmless lighting effect obviously, but impressive nonetheless. Cullen let out a small sigh of relief.

“Fire, there is fire there!”

Evelyn jumped as if startled by the noise. The flame extinguished and she drew both hands close to her chest. “What? Where is there a fire?”

“On your hand, there was a flame!”

She quickly thrust her hands outwards, and looked down at her dress in horror as if it may have caught alight.

“No not _there_ , when it was out there!” a child instructed, pointing empathically.

Evelyn cautiously put her hand out, imitating the position from earlier. They all watched on. Nothing happened for moment, then her other, hand, the one still outstretched before the group suddenly burst into the same blue flames.

“It’s burning! There it is!” The children shrieked again, some of the ones sitting closer to the front scrambling backwards.

Evelyn stared pointedly and obtusely at the wrong hand. “I can’t see anything. You’re making it up!”

“No no, your other hand!”

“This hand!”

“It’s your other hand!”

The flames extinguished themselves just before Evelyn looked at her other hand with an excessively puzzled expression.  “Nothing! There is absolutely nothing there,” she told the group so triumphantly that Cullen had to fight back a chuckle.

“It was, it was! Miss, it _was_!”

Evelyn swept an accusatory look across the onlookers. “You’re trying to trick me.” There was a mass of frantic protests and Evelyn scoffed. “I think I would know if my own hands were on fire!” She put her hands out once more as if to make her point and threw her head back to laugh. Of course, her gaze now averted, both hands were quickly encompassed in flames.

“Look!” a child yelled at Evelyn with desperation.

The flames went out just before she did look, raising a suspicious eyebrow. “Nothing again. You’re all trying to make me look foolish, in front of _the Commander_ , _”_ she said, looking over their heads at him. Cullen felt as if a spotlight had been turned in his direction as the children swivelled to survey him with curiosity and awe. Like when faced with Evelyn’s flames, some of those seated nearest to him scooted back nervously.

Perhaps he had had occasion to scold them in the past. Perhaps they might have reason to be terrified of him as a result. It was not his intention to be harsh, only to keep order. That children were very few in number here didn’t seem to stop them from getting underfoot. Cullen had always reasoned that Skyhold was the base for the Inquisition, not a nursery group. Besides…there were safety concerns, he rationalised, mostly to try and make himself feel better as they gazed on in mild terror as if he too was on fire.  

“See he thinks I’m the leader of the Inquisition,” Evelyn continued, diverting the group’s attention away from him while she continued to stare, eyes locked on his. “Now what is he going to say if I can’t set a simple hay cart on fire?” She gestured towards it flippantly and the entire thing appeared to erupt into the same blue flames as if by accident. Children yelled and scattered, delighted shrieking, punctuated by occasional, sincerely fearful screams. Evelyn stood up too, surveying her handiwork as children ran in circles, daring each other to get closer and closer to the fire, some of them fleeing the scene entirely for the safety of their parents.

Cullen carefully weaved through them to reach Evelyn, who stood staring at the haycart, hands on her hips, expression smug. “I think you may have traumatised them enough,” he said in a low voice.

“Then would you do the honours?” she asked and he frowned, confused. In answer Evelyn pointed to a nearby bucket of water.

“No.”

“Oh, they will worship you for it.”

“You say that as if it is an outcome I would want.”

She blinked her long lashes at him and teased: “I would worship you too.” He flushed and she mercifully looked away from him, yelling for the benefit of the remaining children. “Oh help me Commander, help me!”

“If I must,” he said quietly enough that only Evelyn could hear it. She gave him a satisfied smile.

With shoulders slumped as if they bore the weight of the world, he dragged his feet towards the water bucket, hauled it up and threw the contents over the fire. On queue, the flames disappeared. He looked at Evelyn and she mouthed ‘ta da!’ at him. In response, Cullen dropped the bucket at his feet and raised his eyebrows.

After a moment of pause, apparently astonished into temporary silence by his ingenuity and courage, the children began to flock towards him cheering. Cullen took a few hasty steps back as they bounced at his feet, tugging at his clothes, excitedly rehashing his own actions in frantic babbles, necks craning and faces turned upwards towards him.

Sensing his discomfort, Evelyn waded in to shoo them away. “Okay, okay, let's thank him by giving him the peace and quiet he no doubt is seeking.” Cullen was a little embarrassed that she had guessed his motives so easily. “Run along now. Go on, scat. Good girl, let go of that leg. Yes let go, the Commander needs it to walk. Let go now, there we are. Bye now.” Evelyn prised the girl off and gave her a pat on the head before the child finally bounced away to join her companions.

“Quite the performance. Should I throw a rose at your feet?” he said drily.

“I wouldn’t object if you did,” she laughed. “I’m sorry, were we making a lot of noise? Was it distracting you?”

He saw no point in lying when she clearly knew it was the case. “Yes, but it is no problem.”

It had been a problem when Cullen though it was just feral children up to mischief. Obviously _nothing_ was a problem if it meant he got to speak to her for a few moments. And to see her smile right at him like that. Just at him.

“I am glad to hear it because frankly I am of the opinion that you need distracting more often.” He didn’t quite know how to respond to that, his brain did the mental equivalent of stumbling over its own feet and he stayed silent. Rubbing his neck, turned to look at the hay cart for temporary relief from her pointed staring. “An awful waste of time and hay, is that what you are thinking?” she asked.

Cullen shrugged. “I understand your time is your own, for the moment at least. And the hay will dry.”

“And what about an ex-Templar’s perspective on the frivolous, pointless use of magic?”

There were no words to encompass the warm gratitude he felt in that moment for her use of the descriptor ‘ex-Templar’. She hadn’t quite seemed to believe it when they had first met, suspicious glances and giving him a wide berth at times, needling him with curious, pointed questions at others. But now she did believe it and for some reason that meant a lot to him. More than a lot.

“It certainly was frivolous. But perhaps…not pointless.” Evelyn was surprised, genuinely surprised. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened a little. How cold hearted did she think he was? “The children,” he paused to clear his throat, “they have little enough to laugh about here. It is kind of you to afford them some entertainment.”

“You,” she said, awestruck, “you have a soft spot!” She reached out with her index finger pointed and prodded at him.  He was wearing armour so couldn’t possibly have felt the touch but somehow it seemed to reverberate around his chest making his heart pounded against his ribcage.

“At least one. Apparently,” he said with a wry smile.

“Good to know. Leaves you open to exploitation.”

“What?”

“What?”

“What did you say?”

“Huh? Who said what now?”

“You’re toying with me, like you were with them,” he said sternly. Arms folded, he used his chin to gesture in the direction the children had left.

“I swear, I didn’t say anything you need worry about,” Evelyn assured him, doing that innocent, doe-eyed look again. What did she think he was? Easily manipulated?

She pouted.

Yes, yes he was. To avoid any further embarrassment, he said: “I really should get back to work.”

“Thank you again for your help.”

“Any time you need a real, or fake, fire put out I would be happy to attend.”

“Good to know.” She beamed at him. If he walked away quickly enough, Cullen reasoned (prayed), she may not see the red creeping up his neck. “My hero,” she added in a low voice, clasping her hands and looking at him from under her eyelashes.

No, it was too late for that. Face hot, he quickly turned on his heel and strode to the stairs, taking them two at a time, imagining her sniggering at his retreating figure.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year all. :) Busy year for me ahead but hoping to keep up with some one shots at least while the ideas keep flowing! Thanks so much for reading - hope you enjoyed!


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